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Welcome to THE TIMOTHY REPORT for December 29, 2003
“To assist, encourage, enable and equip”
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I AM THE NEW YEAR
I am the New Year. I am an unspoiled page in your book of time.
I am your next chance at the art of living.
I am your opportunity to practice what you have learned about life during the last twelve months.
All that you sought and didn’t find is hidden in me, waiting for you to search it but with more determination.
All the good that you tried for and didn’t achieve is mine to grant when you have fewer conflicting desires.
All that you dreamed but didn’t dare to do, all that you hoped but did not will, all the faith that you claimed but did not have -- these slumber lightly, waiting to be awakened by the touch of a strong purpose.
I am your opportunity to renew you allegiance to Him who said, "Behold, I make all things new."
--Author Unknown
(The Timothy Report, Swan Lake Communications, www.timothyreport.com
December 29, 2003)
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NEW YEAR
DECIDING TO JUMP
A boy told his father, "Dad, if three frogs were sitting on a limb that hung over a pool, and one frog decided to jump off into the pool, how many frogs would be left on the limb?" The dad replied, "Two."
"No," the son replied. "There’s three frogs and one decides to jump, how many are left?" The dad said, "Oh, I get it, if one decides to jump, the others would too. So there are none left."
The boy said, "No dad, the answer is three. The frog only DECIDED to jump."
Does that sound like last year’s resolution? Great inspiration and great resolutions, but often times we only decide, and months later we are still on the same limb of do-nothing.
-- http://irsweb.com
(The Timothy Report, Swan Lake Communications, www.timothyreport.com
December 29, 2003)
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HUMOR
An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Older Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.
The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.
(The Timothy Report, Swan Lake Communications, www.timothyreport.com
December 29, 2003)
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FAITHFUL WITNESS
Joseph is a tall, slender Massai warrior. Some time ago he met a man along a dusty African road who told him the story of Christ and God's love that made forgiveness for sin possible. Joseph became a believer and rejoiced in the "Jesus story."
He became a fiery witness, to the point that he later made the long journey from Africa to Amsterdam for an Evangelist conference. His greatest hope was to meet Billy Graham, one of the speakers in person. Robert was a staff member in the conference who screened the few persons allowed to visit Dr. Graham. Joseph's story convinced him so much that he was allowed to tell his conversion experience to Billy in person.
"After I met Jesus, I was so excited that I just knew everyone in my village would be happy to meet him also. So I went door-to-door telling everyone I met about the cross of Jesus and the salvation it offered. To my amazement my people not only didn't care, they became hostile. The men held me to the ground while the women began beating me with barbed wire. I was dragged from the village and left to die in the bush."
Joseph somehow managed to crawl to a water hole, and there, after two days of passing in and out of consciousness, found he had the strength to get up. He was puzzled about the hostile reception from family and friends whom he had known all his life. "I decided that I must have left something important out of the story I told them about Jesus. So I practiced it over and over, then limped back to tell them the good news."
"I went again, from hut-to-hut telling about Jesus who died for us so we might find forgiveness and know the living God. Again they held me down and I was beaten, opening anew the former wounds. They dragged me unconscious outside the camp and I was left for dead."
"I woke up two days later, scarred and bruised, but still alive. For the third time I went back into my home village and started to witness. But they were waiting for me. I was set upon, thrown to the ground and as the beatings began I passed out. When I awakened this time I was in my own bed. The folks who had been whipping on me had now become my nurses. Everyone in my village had become a believer in Christ."
After telling Billy Graham his story, Joseph lifted his colorful African shirt and showed his scars. Afterward, Billy said to his staff, "I'm not worthy to untie his shoes, and he wanted to meet me?"
--Michael Card, “Immanuel,” Thomas Nelson, Inc., pp. 172-174.
(The Timothy Report, Swan Lake Communications, www.timothyreport.com
December 29, 2003)
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RESOLUTIONS FOR THE NEW YEAR
The late Erma Bombeck once made these New Year's resolutions:
1. I'm going to clean this dump just as soon as the kids grow up.
2. I will go to no doctor whose office plants have died.
3. I'm going to follow my husband's suggestion to put a little excitement into my life by living within our budget.
4. I'm going to apply for a hardship scholarship to Weight Watchers.
5. I will never loan my car to anyone I have given birth to.
6. And just like last year...I am going to remember that my children need love the most when they deserve it the least.
(The Timothy Report, Swan Lake Communications, www.timothyreport.com
December 29, 2003)
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NEW YEAR
DAD'S RESOLUTION
Last year when I called my parents to wish them a happy New Year, my dad answered the phone. "Well, Dad, what’s your New Year’s resolution?" I asked him. "To make your mother as happy as I can all year," he answered proudly. Then mom got on, and I said, "What’s your resolution, Mom?" "To see that your dad keeps his New Year’s resolution."
-- Jeanette Case, Erie, PA, Readers Digest, date unknown
(The Timothy Report, Swan Lake Communications, www.timothyreport.com
December 29, 2003)
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PRAYER
Alan Redpath sums up how many feel even when they have prayed, “When we have finished our praying we can scarcely bring ourselves to believe that our feeble words can have been heard, or that they can have made a difference in the things concerning which we have been praying. We’ve said our prayers but we have not prayed.”
--Victorious Praying: Studies in the Lord’s Prayer (Grand Rapids: Fleming Revell, 1993) p. 12
(The Timothy Report, Swan Lake Communications, www.timothyreport.com
December 29, 2003)
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A WORTHY GOAL FOR THE NEW YEAR
Remember you are God's sword--His instrument--I trust a chosen vessel unto Him to bear His name. In great measure, according to the purity and perfections of the instrument will be the success. It is not great talents God blesses so much as great likeness to Jesus. A holy minister is an awful weapon in the hand of God.
--Robert Murray M'Cheyne
(The Timothy Report, Swan Lake Communications, www.timothyreport.com
December 29, 2003)
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LORD, HELP ME TO BE MORE PATIENT IN THE COMING YEAR
Patience is the guardian of faith, the preserver of peace, the cherisher of love, the teacher of humility. Patience governs the flesh, strengthens the spirit, sweetens the temper, stifles anger, extinguishes envy, subdues pride; she bridles the tongue, restrains the hand, tramples upon temptations, endures persecutions, consummates martyrdom. Patience produces unity in the church, loyalty in the state, harmony in families and societies; she comforts the poor, and moderates the rich, she makes us humble in prosperity, cheerful in adversity, unmoved by calumny and reproach; she teaches us to forgive those who have injured us, and to be the first in asking forgiveness of those whom we have injured; she delights the faithful, and invites the unbelieving; she adorns the woman, and approves the man; she is beautiful in either sex and every age. . . . She rides not in the whirlwind and stormy tempest of passion, but her throne is the humble and contrite heart, and her kingdom is the kingdom of peace.
--Bishop Horne
(The Timothy Report, Swan Lake Communications, www.timothyreport.com
December 29, 2003)
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