Welcome to THE TIMOTHY REPORT for December 1, 2003
“To assist, encourage, enable and equip”
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HERE’S AN IDEA: Get two children to read this during a special service for Christmas, perhaps alternating between them. Or perhaps a parent with a child.
A CHRISTMAS ALPHABET
A is for the ANGEL shining bright, telling of Jesus that first Christmas night.
B is for BETHLEHEM, crowded and old, the BIRTHPLACE of Jesus, by the prophet foretold.
C is for CATTLE; their manger His bed, their trough for His washing, God’s star overhead.
D is for DAVID. His long-ago throne God promised forever to Jesus alone.
E is for EAST, where men saw the star, and rode on their camels to follow ti far.
F is for FRANKINCENSE, myrrh and fine gold that the wise men gave Jesus (in Matthew it’s told).
G is for GOD, who so loves ev’ry one that He sent us from heav’n His own beloved Son.
H is for HEROD, whose murderous schemes were told to the wise men, and Joseph, in dreams.
I is for INFANT, taken by night with His mother, far from that wicked king’s sight.
J is for JOSEPH, quiet and just, who obeyed all God’s orders with absolute trust.
K’s for the KING of the Jews –to-be. “But we’ll worship Him now,” said the wise men three.
L is for LOVE that brought Him to earth and made Him forever our Brother by birth.
M is for MARY His MOTHER, so brave in believing God faithful, and mighty to save.
N’s for the NIGHT, most holy and still, when heav’n proclaimed peace—to men of good will.
O is OMEGA; it tells Jesus’ station—with Alpha—beyond and before all creation.
P is for PROPHETS who saw Jesus’ story in visions of Bethlehem, Calv’ry, and glory.
Q tells how QUICKLY the shepherds who heard hastened to act on the heavenly word.
R says “REJOICE!” with God’s friends old and new—Mary, the shepherds, the wise men and—you!
S means SALVATION, prepared by the Lord in the SAVIOR whom Simeon and Anna adored.
T says to TELL the good TIDINGS to all, like the shepherds, who told of the Child in the stall.
U stands for US, for to US God has given the Child born of Mary, the Son sent from heaven.
W is for WONDERFUL. That’s the Lord’s name, for with WONDERFUL WORKS and WORDS He came.
X is for “Christ” when in Greek it is read. He’s your Savior and Lord, the angel said.
Y is for ‘YES” to all of God’s ways like Mary, whose “YES” filled her spirit with praise.
Z is for ZEAL, that burned in God’s Son from His childhood years till His work was done.
If our hearts truly to Him belong, He becomes our salvation, strength and song.
--Pauline C. Bormann
(The Timothy Report, Swan Lake Communications, Swanlake@jam.rr.com
December 1, 2003)
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SOME PEOPLE WILL NEVER BE SATISFIED
(Or, They Missed the Whole Point!)
Comments on Forest Service registration sheets and comment cards by backpackers completing wilderness camping trips:
"A small deer came into my camp and stole my bag of pickles. Is there a way I can get reimbursed? Please call."
"Escalators would help on steep uphill sections."
"Instead of a permit system or regulations, the Forest Service needs to reduce worldwide population growth to limit the number of visitors to wilderness."
"Trails need to be wider so people can walk while holding hands."
"Ban walking sticks in wilderness. Hikers that use walking sticks are more likely to chase animals."
"All the mile markers are missing this year."
"Found a smoldering cigarette left by a horse."
"Trails need to be reconstructed. Please avoid building trails that go uphill."
"Too many bugs and leeches and spiders and spider webs. Please spray the wilderness to rid the area of these pests."
"Please pave the trails so they can be plowed of snow in the winter."
Chairlifts need to be in some places so that we can get to wonderful views without having to hike to them."
"The coyotes made too much noise last night and kept me awake. Please eradicate these annoying animals."
"Reflectors need to be placed on trees every 50 feet so people can hike at night with flashlights."
"Need more signs to keep area pristine."
"A McDonald's would be nice at the trail head."
"The places where trails do not exist are not well marked."
"Too many rocks in the mountains."
--Source: Roshan's Humour List
NOTE: There were many people who “missed the whole point” in the days when Jesus was born and when He walked the earth. There are many today who are also “missing the point.” Sometimes in our worship we “miss the point.” This year during Christmas, let us be very careful that we understand what God is saying to us through the birth of His Only Son. Let us make sure that we “get it.”
--Rocky
(The Timothy Report, Swan Lake Communications, Swanlake@jam.rr.com
December 1, 2003)
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IS THAT MULE FOR SALE?
Once upon a time there was a woman married to a very annoying man. He would complain about everything. One day he went to the creek with his mule. He complained so much that the mule got annoyed and kicked him to death. At the funeral, when all the men walked by the wife she shook her head yes and every time the women walked by she shook her head no.
The minister asked "Why are you shaking your head yes for men and no for women?" Her response was, "The men would say how sorry they felt for me and I was saying, "Yes, I'll be alright." When the women walked by, they were asking if the mule was for sale . . . ."
(The Timothy Report, Swan Lake Communications, Swanlake@jam.rr.com
December 1, 2003)
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HE WENT TO ISRAEL AND CAME BACK A CHRISTIAN
A Jewish father was concerned about his son who was about a year away from his Bar Mitzvah but was sorely lacking in his knowledge of the Jewish faith. To remedy this, he sent his son to Israel to experience his heritage.
A year later the young man returned home. "Father, thank you for sending me to the land of our Fathers," the son said. "It was wonderful and enlightening; however, I must confess that while in Israel, I converted to Christianity."
"Oy vey," replied the father, "what have I done?" So in the tradition of the patriarchs, he went to his best friend and sought his advice and solace.
"It is amazing that you should come to me," stated his friend, "I too sent my son to Israel and he returned a Christian."
So in the tradition of the patriarchs they went to the Rabbi.
"It is amazing that you should come to me," stated the Rabbi, "I too sent my son to Israel and he returned a Christian. What is happening to our sons?"
"Brothers, we must take this to the Lord," said the Rabbi.
They fell to their knees and began to wail and pour out their hearts to the Almighty. As they prayed the clouds opened and a mighty voice stated, "Amazing that you should come to Me. I, too, sent My Son to Israel....."
(The Timothy Report, Swan Lake Communications, Swanlake@jam.rr.com
December 1, 2003)
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WHO STARTED CHRISTMAS?
This morning I heard a story on the radio of a woman who was out Christmas shopping with her two children; after many hours of looking at row after row of toys and everything else imaginable, and after hours of hearing both her children asking for everything they saw on those many shelves, she finally made it to the elevator with her two kids.
She was feeling what so many of us feel during the holiday season time of the year---overwhelming pressure to go to every party, every housewarming, taste all the holiday food and treats, get that perfect gift for every single person on our shopping list, make sure we don't forget anyone on our card list, and the pressure of making sure we respond to everyone who sent us a card.
Finally the elevator doors opened and there was already a crowd in the car. She pushed her way into the car and dragged her two kids in with her and all the bags of stuff. When the doors closed she couldn't take it anymore and stated, "Whoever started this whole Christmas thing should be found, strung up and shot."
From the back of the car everyone heard a quiet, calm voice respond, "Don't worry. We already crucified him."
For the rest of the trip down the elevator it was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop. Don't forget this year to keep the One who started this whole Christmas thing in your every thought, deed, purchase, and word. If we all did it, just think of how different this whole world would be.
--Author Unknown
(The Timothy Report, Swan Lake Communications, Swanlake@jam.rr.com
December 1, 2003)
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SURVEYS
USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
--David Letterman
(The Timothy Report, Swan Lake Communications, Swanlake@jam.rr.com
December 1, 2003)
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TOP TEN SIGNS YOU ARE IN FOR A LONG SERMON
10. There's a case of bottled water beside the pulpit in a cooler.
9. The pews have camper hookups.
8. You overhear the pastor telling the sound man to have a few (dozen!) extra tapes on hand to record today's sermon.
7. The preacher has brought a snack to the pulpit.
6. The preacher breaks for an intermission.
5. The bulletins have pizza delivery menus.
4. When the preacher asks the deacon to bring in his notes, he rolls in a filing cabinet.
3. The choir loft is furnished with La-Z-Boys.
2. Instead of taking off his watch and laying it on the pulpit, the preacher turns up a four-foot hour-glass.
And The Number One Sign You Are In For A Long Sermon
1. The minister says, "You'll be out in time to watch the super bowl" but it's only September!
(The Timothy Report, Swan Lake Communications, Swanlake@jam.rr.com
December 1, 2003)
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A TRUE PREACHER OF THE WORD
Numerous Sunday worshipers prefer to hear a sermon about heaven rather than a reference to hell. They want to hear pleasing words on the love of God, but refuse to accept the justice of God. They welcome a word of commendation but reject even an allusion to condemnation. From the doctrines of the Christian faith, they pick and choose those that are agreeable and gratifying. Consequently, they decline to listen to expositions on sin and repentance, unbelief and disobedience, hell and reprobation.
What is the task of the pastor who ministers the Word to people who have itching ears (II Tim. 4:3)? He must remember that he is a minister of God’s Word, not a minister of the people. He ministers the Word to the people, but he is first a minister of that Word. To put it in the language of Scripture, God has given him the duty to blow the trumpet to prepare his people for the war on sin (I Cor. 14:8). But if the trumpet fails to produce a clear sound, no one will prepare for battle, and as a result everyone will become captive to sin.
Failure to preach the full message of salvation is cruel, for the results are destruction and death. The pastor who faithfully preaches the gospel never fails to include a call to repentance. He sounds a warning of impending doom if this call is ignored. He points out the narrow path that leads to life and warns his audience not to walk the wide road of sin that leads to eternal doom. A true preacher calls the sinner to repentance and faith. Said the noted evangelist D. L. Moody, “Repentance is the tear in the eye of faith.”
--Simon Kistemaker, in “Exposition of the Acts of the Apostles,” (Baker Book House, 1990)
(The Timothy Report, Swan Lake Communications, Swanlake@jam.rr.com
December 1, 2003)
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WHAT DOES GOD SAY ABOUT OUR WORSHIP?
What does God say to us about our worship? Surely, this is the toughest and most basic question to be asked, but curiously, it is often the last question we ask. If we think about our worship at all, usually we think in terms of, What do I want from our worship? or, What do MY PEOPLE want from our worship? Without daring to be so bold as to ask, What does GOD want from our worship?
--William H. Willimon
(The Timothy Report, Swan Lake Communications, Swanlake@jam.rr.com
December 1, 2003)
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